This is more of a personal post! As I write it, I am nervous that I am able to communicate all my thoughts and feelings effectively....as I am not the best writer! However, Scott and I have recently said that we feel we could write a book on pregnancy (ok, just parts of it!).
6yrs ago when we intially started talking about having kids....it wasn't an issue for us! Having Soren was a breeze! There was hope for more kids!
Fast forward a few years and then there's Miss Kinley! Some of you know that it took us 2 yrs to get pregnant with her! Through many MANY doctors appointments, procedures, medications, and surgery we were blessed with her. We experienced SO many feelings of a couple going through infertility. The highs and lows and everything in between. The song that really kept me going and pushing me forward was Jeremy Camps song "There Will be a Day"
I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end,
His word declares this truth
That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to his hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears
No more pain and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place
Will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always
I know the journey seems so long
You feel you're walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you've walked out all alone
Troubled soul don't lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that's in store
Outweighs the hurt of lifes sting
But I hold onto this hope and the promise that He brings!
Most recently my hope was that we would be able to get pregnant again!! Without the 'help' of doctors this time! Much to our surprise we did!! What a glorious surprise that was! However, shortly after Thanksgiving we miscarried! Jeremy Camps song once again was a comfort to me but in a different way this time. One that still gives me hope.
I have SO many thoughts roaming around my head that I am just going to throw them out there!
~When going through fertility treatments with Kinley, there were days I was hopeless but *most* days were hopeful. You see I feel like as an OB nurse you get a different perspective things. I was hopeful because I had only been trying 1 year, instead of the couple that had been trying for 7 years. I had a healthy boy at home, instead of the couple that didn't have any kids.
~With our miscarriage, I see the number of people that have a misscarriage in their health history...we are not the only ones.
~I really feel that it's our perspective that has allowed us to navigate through these murky waters of life. We need to be reminded that we live in a fallen world. A world full of sin and sadness. We are not in heaven yet. We cling to the hope of eternity with Christ...where all these pains will be gone.
~I feel like we've experienced a little taste of many angles of pregnancy. My hope is that we can help someone else. We are not afraid to chat about it....so if you are struggling and wanna chat pls ask! We have been blessed, we have learned and we want to share that hope with you!
~My last hope is that in the next few months we will be able to share some good new with you! :)
